WHAT?!

While watching last week’s opening ceremonies of the Olympics, I thought to myself how adorable the little girl was who sang China’s national anthem. Adorable with a voice like a precious hummingbird! Well, it turns out the pretty little girl was lie-telling to us all! She lip-synched the whole thing. She’s the Zelma Davis of China!

Chinese officials confirmed that they decided at the last minute to pull 7-year-old Yang Peiyi (on the right) from the opening ceremonies, because they felt her teeth were too wonky to represent their country. They replaced her with 9-year-old Lin Miaoke who lip-synched to Yang’s voice.

The ceremony’s music director said, “The main consideration was the national interest. The child on the screen should be flawless in image, in her internal feelings and in her expression. When we had the dress rehearsals, there were spectators from various divisions, including above all a member of the politburo who gave us his verdict: we had to make the swap.” Was Jeff Lewis from Flipping Out the musical director? Harsh!

Peiye claims she wasn’t upset after she was told she couldn’t perform, “I am proud to have been chosen to sing at all.” Peiye is way too nice. I would’ve sabotaged Miaoke by making the track skip! That way Miaoke would’ve just stood there, shrugged and danced a jig like Ashlee Simpson.

That wasn’t the only fake thing about the opening ceremonies. The 29 fireworks footprints were digitally added later. A cameraman in a helicopter filmed the fireworks as they were happening live, but producers thought the footage might be too shaky.

So what was real?! I actually gave a standing ovation to that shit! I got my lazy ass off of the couch and I never do that! AND I even toasted the TV with my martini. I feel so cheated! I want my money back!

VIA Daily Mail