Tommy Girl Lives!

August 12, 2008 / Posted by:

We’ve seen ten thousand pictures of Stepford Katie and her denim friends, but strangely enough, Tommy Girl has been missing in action. Or missing in asshole. Yeah, that’s probably where he was. The new alien dick pump worked a little too well, so he got stuck in Johnny Travolta’s hungry hole. It took the other aliens a few gallons of barley water and many menacing pictures of Xenu to get them separated. Luckily, Tommy was pulled out in time for the “Tropic Thunder” premiere in Los Angeles last night.

Okay, did Carol Brady circa 1971 style Stepford Katie’s hair and make-up. I mean, what in Florence Henderson hell is going on with that old lady hair from the 1970s? And doody lipstick? That’s what Tommy Girl’s lips look like after a “play date” with Johnny Travolta. Two aliens, one cup.

Tommy needs a little more height in his sneakers. Somebody please send him these Jessica Simpson wedges. Girlfriend would work the shit out of those shoes.

You can’t convince me that Stepford Katie has an alien baby in her incubator. Tommy made her wear his butt pad on her stomach, just so they can make the gossip rags this week. Xenu help us all if she’s bringing another alien robot into this world.

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