Everything’s Just Wonderful

Hayden Panatroll’s daddy, Alan, was arrested early yesterday morning for allegedly slapping his wife a few times across the face, leaving visible marks. The cops later said booze was a factor in the fight. Alan was released on $50,000 bail yesterday. Alan and Lesley, his wife, were out walking their dogs later in the afternoon like nothing happened. From far away they kind of look like White Oprah and Luke Spencer from General Hospital.

Lesley and Alan talked to Mario Lopez (gross) from Extra and claimed it was all a misunderstanding. Mario said, “Nothing actually happened. In fact, Lesley wasn’t even aware that Skip had been arrested. Hayden found out about her dad’s arrest when he called her from jail. They love each other very much and want everyone to know that the matter was completely blown out of proportion.”

First of all, AC Slater needs to put on a unitard and go prance around in the corner. Second of all, a misunderstanding? I can picture Lesley telling the cops in the morning, “He didn’t actually hit me. I ran into his hand several times.”

Lesley needs to pull up a chair and spend an entire afternoon watching Lifetime movies. I highly recommend “If Someone Had Known” starring Kellie Martin or “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger” starring Tori the Hutt. Lesley needs to learn from their mistakes!