Don’t Tell Jessica Simpson About This

It’s a good thing Jessica Simpson can’t read, because this tidbit of information might get her vagina lips in a twist.

In September’s Allure (via UsWeekly), Carrie Underwears claims Tony Romo stills calls her from time to time. She said, “We were both small-town people doing very big things, and we relied on each other, dealing with fame. I don’t know. The phone will ring and it’ll be him, and I’ll maybe not answer.”

What a country cunt! I think I’m in love. But this little passive-aggressive game these two twats are playing with each other is getting old. Jess wears a “Real Girls Eat Meat” t-shirt and Carrie drops these little jabs here and there. These bitches need to stop hiding and come out fighting. My pennies are on Jessica. Her frog mouth could swallow Carrie whole.

Here’s Jessica and my girl crush, Ken Paves, out last night.