The Only Vote That Matters

August 11, 2008 / Posted by:

Wilshire & Washington reports that both McCain’s and Obama’s bitches have reached out to Saint Angelina for a possible endorsement. Both campaigns think Saint Angelina’s endorsement actually matters. It’s fucking true. If Saint Angelina instructed her Brangaloonies to cross all the presidential nominees off their ballots and write her name instead, they would do it in a homewrecking heartbeat. And she would totally win. Fuck, I just gave her an idea.

Angie has already said she hasn’t made up her mind just yet, “I have not decided on a candidate. I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world.”

Let’s be real, Saint Angelina’s vote is the only vote that matters. Once her ballot goes in, all other ballots will be voided. Shit, we should just have a big ceremony to decide who will be our next president. Saint Angelina will sit on her throne, McCain and Obama will both bow in front of her, she will slowly rise and touch the head of the man she feels is worthy enough. White doves would fly out of his ass and that would be that!

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