A little blog has popped up on the internets, and it’s supposedly the work of Vadge’s beloved brother, Christopher Ciccone. Some whores think it could be real, I personally think it’s about as fake as Vadge’s chicken cutlets. According to the blog’s description, Christopher started it so that he could tell stories about Vadge that were not allowed in the book due to legal shit.
The stories range from Vadge spitting in her stepmother’s chocolate milk to her going caca times in one of her tour costumes. None of those stories compare to the one about their sort-of threesome.
In 1983, Vadge was rehearsing a song for Vision Quest in her NYC apartment and naturally, the bitch sounded awful. “Michael” claims that Vadge became frustrated that she couldn’t sing right, so she called some dude named Johnny. When Johnny arrived, Vadge told Christopher he had to leave, but Johnny told him to stay.
When Madonna informs Johnny that I’m her brother, he answers, “You guys don’t have to touch each other.” Johnny then proceeds to take off his pants and then his underwear. After our eyes glue to Johnny’s huge snake, Madonna and I look at each other in amazement. I immediately rush over to it as my mouth waters.
“Sorry,” Madonna says and pushes me away. She then gulps Johnny’s snake like it’s some type of watermelon. Johnny sits down on a chair and I feel a little bit left out until he informs me to take off my clothes. I feel uncomfortable getting naked in front of my sister, but Madonna is so preoccupied that she barely notices.
“Come here!” Johnny says and I walk towards him. Johnny then proceeds to suck my snake like it’s a watermelon and both of us are moaning in harmony. At least it’s more harmonious than Madonna’s singing throughout the day. Suddenly, Johnny’s moans become louder until I can hear Madonna make gulping noises. Johnny doesn’t swallow, but for some reason, it doesn’t bother me. Right after Johnny leaves, Madonna proceeds to sing and she sounds wonderful.
I usually believe everything I read because I have gummi worms for brains, but come on! Wouldn’t he put that shit in the book?! And no amount of cum will ever make that bitch’s singing voice sound “wonderful.” She could swallow a sperm bank and she would still sound like shit!
The blog is most likely fraudulent, but it still makes for some good reading. I’ll choose to believe! Click here to read that shit.
And who sucks dick like it’s a watermelon? He’s probably thinking of that scene in Julie Brown’s Vadge-spoof “Medusa: Dare to be Truthful.” Seriously, that movie is fucking amazing. Below is the clip of “Medusa” swallowing a watermelon.