Levi Strauss Is Already Hitting The Red Carpet

August 8, 2008 / Posted by:

And Levi’s probably already hitting the bong too. I mean, look how fucking baked his daddy is in the picture above. Matthew McConaughey looks mega stoned in all of these pictures! It looks like he’s sweating bong water.

He basically confirmed he was operating on smoke when he explained why they brought Levi Strauss out, “Levi was gonna stay home, but then he said, ‘Dad, mom, I wanna go support mom’s purses!'” He’s not joking either. He really heard Levi say that. Actually, Matthew probably heard his bongo drum say it, but figured Levi channeled his thoughts to it.

The Bong Master said they take Levi everywhere. They even took him to a John Mellencamp concert. He said Levi is “equipped to be around the sights and sounds of people.” Have they checked on Levi since then? He’s probably deaf now. That probably wouldn’t bother Matthew. He’d just say, “Awww. He’ll be alright. Just give him a little weeeeeeeeeeeed.

Matthew kept the stoner talk going when he talked about how they kept the placenta and umbilical cord for some kind of Australian aboriginal custom.

He said, “They had a placenta tree that was on the river, and it was for the women, and it was the most fertile land and fertile river. And all the placentas of all that tribe, all that clan … went under that one tree, and it was this huge behemoth of just health and strength. And this tree was just growing taller and stronger above the rest of Mother Nature around it. It was gorgeous.”

I just have four words for Matthew: PASS. ME. YOUR. BONG.

Here’s Matthew and Camila at the launch of her handbag collection last night.

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