Look outside your window! There’s probably a beautiful rainbow in the sky! If you look closer, you’ll see glittery unicorns jumping through it. What’s the occasion? They are celebrating the birth of Clay Gayken’s baby!!! Yes, the ginger gayelle with a penis is a mama je’e!
In case you blocked out the gory details, Clay Gayken’s happy spermies (shudder) were used to knock up his best friend, 50-year-old Jaymes Foster. Jaymes is a chick.
Gayken’s mommy confirmed the birth to WRAL.com. Jaymes and Gayken welcomed a baby boy at around 8:08 this morning in North Carolina. Okay, this is a sign of the apocalypse. Born on 8/08/08 at 8:08?!
They have named him Parker Foster Gayken. I mean, Aiken. He weighed in at 6 pounds 2 ounces. 6 + 2 = 8!!!! TAKE SHELTER!
When the baby came out and screamed “Ooooh! Slap me on the ass and call me Mary!”, everyone knew he was Gayken’s.
Gayken’s mommy said that Clay is “smiling from ear-to-ear.” That’s because he’s thinking of all the “It’s a boy” cigars he’s going to get from his friends. And by “cigars” I mean dicks.
Congrats to Gayken! He’s going to make the sexiest lezzie mommy ever! By the way, I think the vaginas of hundreds of Claymates just exploded in their mom jeans. Clean up on aisle BARF!
Thanks Ma Nom