Happy Birthday SamRo!

August 7, 2008 / Posted by:

HoHan’s main partner in pussy, SamRo, turns 31 today! I’m sure she’ll celebrate by blowing the flames out of HoHan’s firecrotch. Eating cooze works for her, because the girl looks younger than HoHan. Although, that’s not saying much.

I thought she should celebrate this important gayelle day by looking at a couple of pictures from SamRo’s senior high school yearbook sent in to me by a reader. SamRo went to a fancy all-girls joint called The Chapin School in NYC. Above is SamRo’s senior stats. We never had that shit! We only had our names and they usually fucked mine up. Here’s what it all means:

Name: Samantha Ronson
Dream: Jack
Reality: Whack
Best Kept Secret: Natural blonde
Male Equivalent: Puck
Quotable Quote/Trademark: Out of uniform
Starring in the Remake of: Rebel without a Cause
Usually Found: ?
You in 20 Years: Famous

Fascinating, isn’t it? And please don’t tell me she’s talking about Puck from the Real World: San Francisco?! Puck used to eat his own scabs! Okay, that makes sense. And it’s so cliche of her to want to star in remake of Rebel without a Cause! She’ll play Jim Stark of course. HoHan is way too haggard-looking to play Judy. She can play Mrs. Stark.

Here’s also a page from SamRo’s yearbook featuring her in a skirt! You know she totally wore shorts underneath there. And of course a picture from her basketball team. Figures. I also threw in some pictures of my favorite hipster gayelles in Los Angeles yesterday. E! reports that they recently got matching black heart tattoos on their hands. Awwww…..it is love and it’s smart. I’d rather have a black heart on my body than some bitch’s name. In fact, I’m going to get a black heart tatoo on my sleeve.

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