Frapp Without Whip?

Or maybe she’s drinking an iced coffee? or maybe it’s an iced Caramel Macchiato without whip? I really care about these things! I wish she was double-fisting two Venti Frapps with extra whip like the old days. I like to hold on to the past.

Brit Brit with her assistant glued to her side shopped on Robertson Blvd. yesterday. The weave doesn’t look like it’s eating itself and I don’t see any visible grease stains on her clothes. Not bad! Although, I’m more interested in her assistant. That girl is always with her. She probably even holds Brit’s hand during poopy times. She’s a 24/7 employee. She’s not as hot as Carla, but I still want to know her deal. Brit totally bought her, I know it.

In other Cheeto news, Quentin Tarantino has reportedly asked Brit Brit to play a lesbian stripper killer in the remake of Russ Meyers’ “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” Brit Brit would play Varla, a stripper who murders a dude with her bare hands and kidnaps his girlfriend. Brit would also have to do a girl-on-girl sex scene. A source told The Telegraph, “Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She’s delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around. It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She’s playing the most important character.”

Daddy Spears is not amused by this rumor. Besides, they should save some money and use footage from Brit Brit’s home movies for the remake. That shit is probably just as terrifying.