He Wasn’t Invited Anyway

August 5, 2008 / Posted by:

We all basically had a laugh about the rumor that HoHan and SamRo are going to throw the gayelle wedding of the month year. Yeah, it’s not going to happen, but I have my flannel flower girl outfit ready just in case. Even though the rumor is about as real as my afternoon delights with Carrot Top (don’t judge), this hasn’t stopped Michael Lohan from opening his gutter trap and spewing a bunch of trash.

He told MSNBC’s The Scoop, “I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle. She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.

Michael, sweetie, honey. Let’s be real here. Stop using the “Christian” thing. She wouldn’t ask you because you’re her daddy and she can’t stand you. I’ve listened to “Confessions of a Broken Heart” many times (unfortunately), so I know how she feels deep down.

And is your Christian faith the reason why you continue to wear your cell phone strapped to your waist. Only Jesus can enlighten me about this shit! I don’t understand it! It truly makes my eyes curdle every time I see some twat bag with a cell phone strapped to their waist. It’s wrong and should be illegal.

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