Sienna Miller Is Heartbroken

Yeah, I don’t believe it. Sienna Miller is like me. We don’t have hearts, we have genitals. Our genitals get sad, but our hearts don’t. Unless, we watch a melancholy and touching movie involving talking animals. That’s a different story. Anywhore, the Daily Mail reports that “heartbroken” Sienna escaped to the Virgin Islands to be with her daddy (her real daddy) after Balthazar Getty flew to Los Angeles to be with his wife and family.

Balthazar is apparently trying to make his marriage work for the sake of his 4 children. His wife, Rosetta, is also interested and agreed to talk to him over the weekend. Rosetta probably took a long, hard look at the prenup and realized she was better off being married to his skeezy ass. A source said, “He was on the phone to Rosetta on and off for two hours, crying and constantly calling and she finally agreed to let him back in the house. In his mind he has definitely dropped Sienna but he’s in a very confused state at the moment. His biggest fear is losing his kids.”

He can’t drop Sienna. She drops him. That’s how it works. Besides, he’s probably vaginatized.

He told photographers outside of his home, “I can’t comment. When I’m ready, I’ll issue a statement. It’s because of the children.” The children! The children! He obviously wasn’t thinking of the children when he had his lips on Sienna’s skank nipples.

Sienna has apparently been frantically calling and texting Balthazar. A source said she’s also going to fly to Los Angeles to try and win him back. No…No…No…. Sienna, don’t do that shit. You’ve had the dick, you’ve got the cum stains to prove it and now it’s to move the fuck on. Besides, Balthazar may never see his share of the Getty fortune. What is the fucking point? Get yourself some dick that pays in the end. Well, “pays in the end” in more ways than one.