I’d Still Hit It

Leonardo DiCaprio is currently sunning his FOPA in Ibiza with his friends including Lukas Haas. Leo’s girlfriend, Bar Rafaeli, is on vacation in the South of France. Some seem to think this means the two are broken up. Personally, I think taking seperate vacations is the way to go. You have to look at your main bitch enough as it is. Do you really want to look at them in the light of day while they’re half-nekkid? Well, only if they’re paying.

Back to Leo, was this bitch every HOT hot? I guess he used to be hot in that “twinkie with a pre-ejaculation problem” kind of way. He was never one of my favorites. I think I always knew he would grow up to be a smelly-looking, bloated twat. He probably belches during sexy times. Even worse, he probably keeps his ankle socks on!

With all that being said, I’d still hit it on a sinking ship. Leo would have to shout, “I’m the king of the world” while I grab on to his peen and whisper, “I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.”