I Want To Be The Flower Girl

August 4, 2008 / Posted by:

The News of the World (cue laugh track) claims SamRo and HoHan will become wife and wife at the end of this year in Los Angeles. Okay, this isn’t the celebrity gayelle wedding I had in mind, but I’d take it. I’m still praying every day for a Rojo Caliente and Cynthia Nixon union. This will do….for now.

This is where it gets comical. A source said that White Oprah is planning the party herself. She is putting together a lavish party to “welcome Sam into her family.” Some lavish party. If White Oprah is planning it, expect no food and no entertainment, but plenty of cameras and booze. Hey, I guess that’s all you need.

The source also said HoHan is shopping for the perfect mini-dress to wear during the wedding. Mini-dress? HoHan doesn’t even shit without wearing leggings! Her coochie probably starts wailing when it’s not covered up by lycra. And a wailing coochie during the wedding ceremony would be a distraction. And of course, SamRo plans to wear a suit and a top hat.

The source went on to blab, “They’ve been keeping the relationship quiet for months and trying to pass each other off as ‘just good friends.’ But they’ve decided it isn’t a fling, it’s for life— so they want to make their romance public.

Who needs a wedding to announce that you like to bump naked beavers? Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned cover on TIME magazine with the text “Yep, I’m Gay! Well, it’s 2008 now, so the text will have to read “Yep, We’re Gayelles!

Here’s our favorite hipster gayelles with Mark Ronson at Lollapalooza in Chicago this past weekend. Oh and I’m assuming Ray-Ban will be the official sunglasses of the HoHan-SamRo wedding. Seriously, that’s all these whores wear.

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