Nobody Talks Bad About My Aretha!

August 1, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Some jealous bitches told Page Six that Our Lady of Chichis, Aretha Franklin, was “out of it” at a party at Russell Simmons’ house in the Hamptons the other day. Some stupid whore who obviously needs a hug said “five people” had to help Miss Aretha leave the event.

The fugly bitch went on to say, “She was dressed in an off-white, low-cut shirt and pantsuit with jacket and pearls. She was just oblivious to what was going on.” Of course it takes five hos! Two for each chichi and one dude stands behind her to break her fall just in case she goes down.

And she was probably “out of it” because she had not eaten her 5th funnel cake of the hour. Aretha loves her funnel cakes! She has a funnel cake maker in her car and every room of her house. She’s serious about them.

Aretha is fine and people need to stop telling lies! Her chichis would never let me down. Seriously, I want to play patty cake with her magnificent chichis. Trust me, they can play back.

Tags: Chichis, I'm Scared

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com