Ed Westwick Is Totally Straight

August 1, 2008 / Posted by:

You know that dude in the back is totally saying, “Gurrrrl. Look at that flamer over there. My tranny poodle wouldn’t even rock those pants. I can smell his ass jam from here. Anyway, fuck this dyke. Let’s go see Mamma Mia again.” Those dudes are totally mistaken! Ed Westwick is not a homo! Yes, there’s been rumors that he’s totally boning Chace Crawford, but it’s a falsity! He was spotted the other night making out with a chick! That proves everything!

Some witness-type saw Ed at Lit in NYC on Wednesday night with his tongue down some random chick’s throat. The witness said, “When the two left together, Ed was leading her by the hand. He was moving quick, but he had time to wink at a hot brunette before slipping out.”

There! We can finally shut the closet door on those homo rumors.

Here’s Ed wearing totally straight dude pants on the set of “Gossip Girl” the other day. I’m not being sarcastic either. Only pimps and mafia bosses wear pants like that.

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