You Gotta Start Somewhere

First of all, there’s that choker again….. That thing makes me want to vomit poop, which is totally possible, but we’ll save that story for another day. Or not. So! White Oprah is apparently livid after finding out that her 14-year-old (going on 45-year-old) daughter unwittingly auditioned for a well-known porn director.

On Sunday night’s episode of the caca fiesta known as “Living Lohan,” Ali gave a shit ass audition for the movie “Troll.” One of the dudes she read for was Peter Davy, an award-winning porn director. TMZ reports that he’s directed such porn hits as “Breast Wishes 14,” “Bun Busters 12” and “Voodoo Lust.” Ooooh, that last one sounds like a real hand jerker.

White Oprah claims she had no idea about Peter’s past. Her rep (probably Nana Lohan) told UsWeekly, “Ali obviously had no idea about Davy’s past. If she did know, she never would have auditioned for him.” You see how the rep said ALI had no idea. I mean, you know White Oprah knew what was going on. Bitch probably worked with him once.

Even though Ali’s audition made my TV turn off, she still got the role. Seriously, my TV really turned off while I was watching it. Ali only got the role because White Oprah sat on Peter’s face and agreed to star in “Bun Busters 13.”