Princess Chunk is the 44-pound pussy I wrote about yesterday who was found wandering the streets of Camden, NJ like a fat day-shift hooker looking for a drumstick. This fat pussy had me tossing and turning last night. I was afraid she was going to escape from where’s staying, break into my apartment and eat my hidden stash of Almond Joys. Anyfatty, Princess Chunk has a dick.
He went on “Regis & Kelly” this morning and a vet bitch checked him out and discovered a penis underneath all that sexy blubber. That’s like trying to find a needle in Wino’s crackhive!
Princess Chunk’s real owner has also come forward. Princess Chunk’s real name is Powder and he used to belong to some memaw who abandoned his fat ass after her home foreclosed. He ate her out of house and home!! Seriously though, how do you just leave a pussy like that?!
Princess Chunk will continue his press tour by appearing on “Good Morning America” this Friday. He will also make an appearance sometime in August at a pet store in Cherry Hill, NJ for whores who are interested in adopting him.
If you’re interested, you better bring a 12-piece chicken dinner with all the fixings and two desserts. Princess Chunk isn’t easy to woo.
I’d adopt the bitch, but I don’t think I’m ready for that big of a pussy. I need to start out with a small pussy and work my way up.