Matthew Broderick and SJP just so happened to run into the paps as they left a restaurant together in NYC last night. Please, you know those bitches texted the paps. I would say call, but who does that anymore?
Last week, Star Magazine claimed Matthew is having an affair with a chick. Yes, a woman. A biological woman. Obviously, since SJP and Matthew are out together, this must mean their marriage is just peachy.
I’m surprised Matthew didn’t grab SJP, dip her, suck on her pony lips, and declare his love for her in front of everyone. Shit, they should have just done fuckey fuckey times in front of the paps, so everyone would know that their marriage isn’t in the troff.
And what is going on with Matthew? He used to be semi-cute, right? Now he just looks like he spends way too much time in his basement, watching really kinky gay porn while eating an entire box of Vanilla Wafers.
Also, I didn’t know they were Buddhists. Isn’t the white string a Buddhist thing? I should become a Buddhist. I like white strings.