Slap me with a 10-inch dick! There’s no way Matthew Broderick cheated on My Little Pony Parker with a woman! Had the cover read “….With a 25-year-old pony” or “.…With a 25-year-old dude,” then I would believe it!
According to Star Magazine, Matthew met some 25-year-old youth counselor in a bar. Shortly after they met, Matthew and the redhead started text messaging and then they began seeing each other. The chick’s friend claims they do sexy times at the townhouse of one of Matthew’s friends. That must be some friend. I would never let one of my friends spread their genital fungus all over my good shit.
I doubt Matthew and the redhead were doing sexy times. They were playing Matthew’s favorite game, “Broadway Divas.” Matthew plays Ethel Merman and the redhead plays Gwen Verdon. Matthew is a total theater fag. My Little Pony doesn’t play that game with Matthew, because she’s too busy being the fucking breadwinner.
When asked for a comment, MLP said, “Neigh, Neigh, Neeeeeeiggggghhhh.”