Heather’s Out

July 23, 2008 / Posted by:

You know, if Heather Locklear went back to that look above, all her problems would go away. That right there is sheer glamour. Actually, I think her hair is still kind of like that.

People reports that Heather has completed four weeks of treatment for anxiety and depression. Friends told People that she spent her time at the Arizona facility riding horses, getting spa treatments and hanging out with herself. That’s called a fucking vacation. A really nice vacation. A really nice and expensive vacation.

One of Heather’s friends said that she’s doing much better, “She told a really funny story and she laughed from her core. That’s when I knew she was going to be fine. I think that’s the best part of all – it’s so nice to hear her laugh.” The joke probably involved Denise Richards’ weepy snatch, an otter and a few dozen truckers. And when the friend said “she laughed from her core,” does that mean she laughed so hard she pooped herself? I do that all the time.

Welcome back, Heather! It’s time to get back to work. And I’m talking about a “Melrose Place” spin-off! If they can do it with “90210,” they can do it with MP!

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