The New Crackie Of Camden

Peaches Geldof, the 19-year-old daughter of Sir Bob Geldof, allegedly overdosed on drugs at her home in Camden, North London on Sunday afternoon. It’s always Camden, isn’t it? Wino is going to send her a basket of crack rocks as a “thank you” for taking the heat off of her.

The Sun reports that friends had to give her mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions to keep her alive. The paramedics arrived and they were able to fully revive her. Peaches immediately started bawling and refused to go to the hospital, because she didn’t want daddy to find out.

A source said, “Her friend had to give chest pumps and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. If she had not received this she could have died or she could have suffered brain damage. Peaches had gone into respiratory arrest, in which a patient’s breathing stops but the heart doesn’t. It was extremely serious and there is no doubt her friend saved her life.”

The source claims that after she regained consciousness, Peaches told the ambulance hos to get out. A spokesbitch for London Ambulance confirmed they were called to her home, but wouldn’t give any details. The spokesbitch only said, “Following assessment, the patient did not need hospital treatment.” Translation: She gave us cash to go away.

Last May, Peaches was caught on video giving a drug dealer $400. She was questioned by police, but never arrested. Peaches’ mommy, Paula Yates, died of an overdose in 2000.

These girls are so fucking cliche. A little rich girl named Peaches overdoses on drugs. Come on, Peaches! Give us something different. With a name like Peaches, she should get a job as a go-go dancer at a gay club. Why let a wonderful name like that go to waste.

Peaches was obviously well enough to attend “The Dark Knight” premiere in London last night. Keep on, keep on!