Thumbs down to thievery! Some cunts robbed Dreamboat Doherty! While Dreamy was
coking it up performing in Spain, some dumb bitches broke into his crackie den and stole a $2,000 guitar and three of his blood paintings.
Dreamy came home yesterday to find his shit gone. Is he sure he didn’t accidentally smoke that shit up and forgot about it? It was probably just one of his many drug dealers collecting payment. Dreamy needs to interrogate all 10,000 of his pussies. Knowing them, they were probably too cracked out to notice.
In 2003, Dreamy was sent to the chokey for six months for robbing the home of Carl Barat, one of his Libertines bandmates. Don’t say this is karma! Karma doesn’t exist for Dreamy.
Don’t worry. Dreamy will get the last laugh! In a couple of days, the whores who robbed him will find themselves with some sort of rare STD only found in the jungles of Dreamy’s house. That’s what they get for fucking with a crackhead.