Balthazar Getty wants you to know that he has split up from his wife of 8 years. You know, just in case you didn’t figure it out for yourself after seeing pictures of him groping Sienna Miller’s slut sacks (NSFW).
Balthazar issued this statement:
“Herro. My name is Balthazar and I’m a dumb, cheating whorebag who purses his lips in every stupid picture he takes.“
No, this is what he really said:
“The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved. In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further.“
Maybe he should’ve thought about that before he frolicked out in the open like a horny puppy. Wait, do puppies even get horny? That didn’t sound right. Pupophilia is wrong.
Anyway, why couldn’t Balthazar act like a normal person and keep his affair behind closed doors (aka the local Motel 6)? And Balthazar (I like writing his name) left his wife for the wrong slut. Sienna Miller is going to move on to the next dick before he can say “syphilis.”