The Dark Knight Is Cleaning Up

July 19, 2008 / Posted by:

Basically, “The Dark Knighthas already made a shit load of cash. The bitches at Warner Bros. are having a money party this weekend, where they will swim in pools of money, drink money martinis and wipe their asses with $100 bills.

It made $18.5 million on midnight screenings alone, breaking the midnight record set by Star Wars, Episode III, which made $16.9. George Lucas is a loser!

In total, it made around $63 million on Friday. It will probably make around ten billion dollars by the end of the weekend. “Batman Begins” made $48.7 million in its first weekend.

This is the thing, I really want to see TDK. I do. But a big movie means big crowds, which means BIG morons. Especially in this fucking heat. Heat makes morons even more moronic. And I have a fat mouth, so sometimes the word “cunt” just seems to creep out when I’m really annoyed. Before I know it, I’d have ten frat boys on my ass ( and not in a hot way). I don’t need to spend the rest of my weekend in a hospital bed or jail cell. Nu uh.

I think I’ll go see “Mamma Mia” instead. I hear it’s fucking torture, but I’ll bring Jack and ask the concession bitch to only fill my Coke halfway. You know, for my medicine.

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