Maybe Baby

Boring couple news! Jennifer Garner’s Alias co-star, Victor Garber, opened up his fat mouth and confirmed that Jennifer is knocked up with her second kid. He told UsWeekly, “Yes, she is.”

Victor later told E! that his words were taken out of context. While reading this quote, I picture him sweating like a Davis Brother and stuttering like a crackhead, “I haven’t confirmed that at all, no. I know they want to have another child and hopefully that’s true, but I don’t know that. No, I know that they are hoping to be. I just don’t know that it’s for sure. It’s a very…personal thing.” Translation: He fucked up

This shit comes right after the rumors that Jen and Ben’s marriage was heading straight for the dumpster. A source said, “She is five months pregnant. They are very happy.”

Back in May, Ben told the UK Times, “And we’re going to have another baby soon, now that we’ve figured out how to do it. We want lots of kids.”

He’s not lying about the just figuring out the sex part. They probably have only fucked twice. Jennifer closes her eyes the entire time while Ben stares at a picture of Matt Damon.

Congrats to Broccoli and Asparagus! Let’s pass around the BAND-AIDS and go back to bed, because these two put me to fucking sleep.

Here’s knocked up Jen leaving a friend’s house in Santa Monica yesterday. I’m surprised to see that she drives a Lexus SUV. I picture her as a Volvo station wagon kind of ho.