Hollywood Is Evil

July 18, 2008 / Posted by:

I’m beginning to think that the evil warlords of Hollywood are purposely butchering our beloved classics as part of a bigger plan to slowly destroy us all. And it’s working. Variety reports that MGM is planning to do a MUSICAL remake of 1983’s “Valley Girl.” There goes the dagger. Straight into my non-existent heart.

The musical will use the movie’s original story with 80s songs. The movie will SUCK DOG NUTS.

A “Valley Girl” movie without The Plimsouls, EG Daily, Josie Cotton or Deborah Foreman? This is sacrilegious. This is like rewriting the Bible.

You know who Hollywood is probably going to get for this mess? Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron, one of the Jonas Hos and they’ll throw in Rumer Willis just to torture us even more.

Why ,Valley Girl?! Why couldn’t they have taken “Reckless,” “Teen Genius” or “Vision Quest” instead?! Anything but Valley Girl! I’m waiting for the day they finally take “Heathers.” That will be the final nail.

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