Has The Cheeto War Finally Ended?

OK! Magazine claims that the child custody war between Brit Brit and KFed has finally come to an end after ten million years or something like that. KFed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, said they signed and agreed to a settlement last night.

Brit Brit said “fuck it” and gave up full custody to KFed. Mark said, “At about 8 p.m. PT, a final settlement in the Kevin Federline-Britney Spears custody case was signed. All parties have agreed to the following: Kevin will retain sole legal and physical custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James. Britney will continue to have visitation rights which may increase over time. The agreement will be presented to the court in the morning for approval by the commissioner. Kevin is ecstatic and the boys are thriving.”

I totally want to see Brit Brit’s signature on that shit. Do you think she dots her i’s with a Chester Cheeto paw or a heart with a sad face in it? KFed totally signs it “KFED 4 Lifez.”

And the boys are thriving? Upon hearing the news, SPF and JJ just shrugged their shoulders, rolled their eyes and said, “As long as we have our Purple DRANK, we don’t give a fuckity fuck! Blimey!” They learned “blimey” from their mommy. They learned “fuckity fuck” from their daddy.

Kevin is ecstatic because that means more cash, which means more weed. Correction, which means BETTER weed. Smoke out at KFed’s tonight!

I would normally say to expect a gas station breakdown from Brit Brit any minute now, but that’s not going to happen. Bitch is too drugged up for that kind of nonsense and daddy has her on a toddler leash. Is it wrong that this makes me sad? Oh how I miss the days of Venti Frapps with extra whipped cream and late-night beef jerky runs. Sigh…..

Oh well, Brit! Just do like my family members do. When the state takes away their kids, they just have new ones!