Ronnie Goes To Rehab

July 17, 2008 / Posted by:

61-year-old Ronnie Wood checked his old ass into the tank yesterday, weeks after he ran away with some 20-year-old slut!

Ronnie spokesbitch confirmed it, “Following Ronnie’s continued battle with alcohol he has entered a period of rehab.” Ronnie was reportedly drinking up to 2 bottles of vodka a day. Ronnie also wants to save his marriage of 23 years, but his wifey isn’t having it. Jo Wood refuses to visit him and will only talk to his crater face once he sobers up. Jo has also left England to get her shit together in Barcelona.

Even though Ronnie wants his wife back, he’s still talking to Ekaterina Ivanova. The Mirror claims he tried to smuggle in a cell phone just so he could text her. Please tell me he didn’t hide the phone in his pepaw hole. Naw, that wouldn’t work. It would just keep slipping out.

Why does he need to go to rehab? The Rolling Stones signed a deal with Lucifer. They are immortal. I mean, Keith Richards has been walking the earth for at least 300 years.

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