Jennifer Aniston Hopes The Twin Messiahs Are Beautiful

July 17, 2008 / Posted by:

Uh oh. Jennifer Aniston better lock herself in her anti-Brangaloonie safe house tonight. You know she probably has two in every house. They might be coming for her!

A friend told UsWeekly that Jennifer is happy for Brangelina, “She hopes the twins are beautiful. She’d never want anyone to be unhappy with their kids.

The Brangaloonies have all gathered in a Yahoo! chat room at their headquarters to dissect this quote and discuss their next course of action. They finish each meeting by reciting every line from “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

Seriously, Jenny doesn’t hope the chosen ones are beautiful. She hopes they are butt fugly and she has the voodoo dolls to prove it. It’s not possible though. Saint Angelina only produces pure beauty. I wouldn’t be surprised if she popped out two precious diamonds.

This friend is right, though. Where there’s a fugly baby, there’s two unhappy parents. If my baby was ugly, I would be so mad at the world. I would constantly snarl at it and try to hide its fugness with wigs, masks or cardboard boxes. I’m joking! No, I’m not.

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