She Works Hard For The Money

July 16, 2008 / Posted by:

Baby Honor should give herself an extra drool on the chin for a job well done! She worked hard for that $1.5 million from OK! Magazine! And when I say “hard for the money,” I mean she probably slept and pooped the whole time.

A half-smiling MiserAlba and her “dream baby” are on this week’s cover and it looks like Baby Honor is going to be spending a few hours of the day at Sunset Tan. Before MiserAlba popped she told Latina Magazine, “I’m excited for my baby to be brown. I just have to believe the dark gene is going to survive. Cash and I are like, please!” Baby Honor, it’s time to hit those tanning beds!

I nearly spit out my Sanka with Cremora when I read this quote from MiserAlba about giving birth, “The labor was more like meditation. I didn’t scream. It was really Zen. GimmeCash Warren said he was surprised at how quiet she was. Yeah, because she too busy gritting her teeth and quietly planning the violent deaths of everyone in the room.

They both think Baby Honor looks just like Cash. He said, “I want her to look like me, because a daughter looking like Jessica, I’d kill myself!” Can everybody please call up Cash and scream, “She looks just like MiserAlba!

She looks like a normal baby to me. Well, a baby who is $1.5 million richer!

MiserAlba’s eyes on the cover are saying to me, “UGH! I’m only doing this for the stupid ass money, so fugly ass Cash can waste more of our dumb money on his bunk ass business!

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