Which One Is The Real David Lee Roth?

This is a hard one, I know. They are the spitting image of each other. Separated at the crack house. The dude on the right is the infamous David Lee Roth imposter that has been going all over Canada pretending to be Diamond Dave. He’s the dude that Canadian police pulled over while he was having an allergic reaction to nuts. He told them he was DLR. They believed him. They are stupid.

According to TheStar.com, the fake’s name is David Kuntz of Cambridge. Why would you pretend to be David Lee Roth when you have an amazing name like David Kuntz. CUNTS! I would make all my friends and family call me Sir Cunts.

Not only has Sir Cunts fooled the police, but he recently convinced an entire bar that he was David Lee Roth. He even got onstage and performed with the house band. Everyone at that bar must have been drunk, high, blind and slow. I look more like DLR than Sir Cunts does!

Sir Cunts really needs to put down the meth pipe, take off all the scarves he bought in Tijuana and head to the nearest looney bin. When they ask why he needs help, he only needs to say, “I’m Sir Cunts and I want to be David Lee Roth.” They will take it from there.