July 14, 2008 / Posted by:

Sarah Silverman is no longer fucking Jimmy Kimmel. The two have broken up after 5 years of being chained to each other. And I thought they were going to last forever! Who the hell is going to date them now?

Jimmy’s spokesbitch told People, “Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.” Wha?! Not even a joke. What the hell kind of break-up statement is that? They should have at least made a crack that they broke up because Jimmy can’t stop pooping the bed or because Sarah really did fuck Matt Damon.

She’s totally going to go gayelle now. You know it.

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