I didn’t feel the earth shake this morning, so who knows if this is true. InTouch Weekly reports that the twin messiahs have landed on earth. Sources tell them that Saint Angelina gave birth at 6pm local time in Nice, France via c-section.
Naw, she didn’t have a c-section. She just sort of sighed a little, turned over, queefed and then they magically appeared with two golden halos on their heads.
A spokesbitch for the hospital said the press would be notified “within minutes” after birth and that it would be posted on the hospital’s website. No official announcement has been made. A source also told InTouch that Saint Angelina would be whisked away from the hospital within 48 hours of giving birth.
All I know is that when we get official confirmation, you better immediately get on your knees and pray to Brangelina. If you don’t then expect to spend your after life in HEEEEELLLL. Who am I fooling? We’re all going to hell anyway. Carry on!
P.S. – Those are wax figures in the picture above. Brad sort of has Ellen Degeneres hair.
UPDATE: The hospital’s spokesbitch told Extra, “It is wrong information.” And there you have it. Back to boozing!