What’s the number to 911?! There’s a criminal on the loose and her name is Cameron Michelle Diaz!! She must be arrested immediately and sentenced to at least 200 years in the chokey. They can throw in an extra 50 years for “The Holiday.”
Cammy committed a crime in Hollywood the other night by driving while talking on her Blackberry. Yes, the car was moving! I’m sure she would have told the police officer, “I was only pretending to talk on my phone, so the paparazzi wouldn’t bother me. I promise I’ll use my Bluetooth headset from now on.” And then she’d giggle like a baby stoner. You know how that twat is.
Speaking of headsets, why do whores think it’s OK to wear those things outside of the car? I don’t know how many times I’ve embarrassed myself by answering questions from a stranger talking into their headset. Most of the time they look straight at you while saying shit into their practically invisible headset. They are fucking with you. They know what they’re doing. And if you’re one of those whores, I’ll meet you out back.