Dr. Quinn Is About To Feel The Wrath Of The Brangaloonies

July 9, 2008 / Posted by:

Dr. Quinn and mother of twins, Jane Seymour, has a little advice for Saint Angelina. Ruh roh. I really wish someone would have stopped her, but now she’s on her own.

Jane told OK!, “My advice to her is to put some weight on. I think she needs to keep putting on weight so she can feed those babies. I don’t think she should think twice. She hasn’t put on enough weight.” Gulp. Do you hear that? It’s the stampede heading for Jane’s house.

She went on to say that she nearly kicked the bucket when she had her twins, “I had preclampsia, which is toxemia, and I had to have an emergency C-section and I almost lost my life. So my advice to her [Jolie] is to listen to your doctors and if they say bed rest and they say blood pressure cuff every hour and they say whatever medication they say, you should take it very seriously.

My advice to Jane is to immediately go into her bedroom, lock the door, put her dresser in front of it, get under the covers and stay there until further notice. If she can, she should arm herself with a full-sized poster of Jennifer Aniston and a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood. Brangaloonies can’t get near that shit!

And Jane is right, but she should have privately sent Saint Angelina a gift certificate to Chili’s instead of telling it to a magazine.

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