David Lee Roth Almost Died!

July 9, 2008 / Posted by:

Last month, David Lee Roth was speeding in Ontario, Canada when he was pulled over by the coppers. At first the cops didn’t recognize the “silk scarf wearing” driver as the one and only Lee Roth, but they did notice that he was having some kind of medical emergency. You see, he was having a major allergic reaction to nuts! That shit is really no joke, but if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R.

I’m allergic to shit like skrimps and melon, but being allergic to nuts is a whole different game. I knew this bitch that would break out into hives the size of Wonky McValtrex’s clit warts from even a little bit of nut dust touching her skin (off topic: I’m going to name my first perfumed powder line “Nut Dust”).

Luckily, the cops got his ass to the local hospital and all was ok in the world again. What in the world would we do without DLR? Let’s celebrate his recovery with one of my favorite videos of all-time:


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