The American version of the reality shit show Big Brother begins its 10th season this Sunday night. Yeah, ten seasons of dumb twats getting drunk, being slutty and saying offensive bullshit. Sounds like my family reunions.
CBS unveiled the cast of dick bags this morning. There’s a gay cowboy, a blonde slut and some douche named Memphis. Fuck all those skanks, because I have already found my favorite. His name is Jerry and he’s a real-life great pepaw from Texas! 75-year-old Jerry loses some points because in his bio he doesn’t mention Werther’s original, Metamucil or warm compresses. That being said, Grand Pepaw Jerry is going to win this bitch. Trust this.
The producers also cast a Nick from BB8 body-alike named Jessie (below). Ha. He spells his name liks a girl. Jessie is a 22-year-old bodybuilder from CA. I don’t know whether to lick him or put a hex on him. His body is kind of creeping me out. That many muscles could only mean one thing: SMALL PEEN! And you know Grand Pepaw Jerry is totally going to gay out with this bitch.