His Name Is Levi

July 8, 2008 / Posted by:

Matthew McConaughey revealed to OK! Magazine that stoner baby’s name is Levi Alves McConaughey. LAM(E)!!!! Little Levi doesn’t have two last names. Alves is his middle name, because it’s his mother’s last name. I’m seriously disappointed. This is a fuck effort!

Matthew explained why they chose the name Levi, “Levi was another name for the apostle Matthew in The Bible. They were, in fact, two names for the same person. Our son was born at 6:22 pm, and this particular time represents my favorite verse in the book of Matthew in The Bible: ‘If thy eye be single, thy whole body will be full of light.'”

Seriously, I think I got contact high from reading his explanation. Bitch was hitting the bong hardcore. And “bitch please” at his explanation. The only bible he reads is the stoner’s bible aka High Times magazine.

You know he named stoner baby after his favorite brand of jeans. Just like brother Rooster named his baby Miller Lyte after his favorite beer.

Matthew and Camila also released this statement:

We welcome Levi Alves McConaughey into this wonderful life and look forward to living in it with him. In the mean time and all times, just keep livin’.
—Matthew David McConaughey and Camila Maria Saraiva de Araujo Alves

It’s a cute and normal name, but I was expecting Matthew to deliver the fucking goods.

At least I can count on Rooster to bring the laughs. Rooster talked to People about his brother’s first baby, “It’s good to have a boy the first time ’round! You can get away with dropping ’em a couple times, and they’ll still be okay. Can’t really do that with a little girl.

Rooster has officially become my favorite McConaughey.

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