Who Is This Skank?!

July 7, 2008 / Posted by:

What in fake cellulite hell is going on here?! I thought Russell Brand was bumping chicken cutlets with international supermodel Phoebe Price!? PP obviously woke up and smelled the chicken broth, because she waaaaay too good for him. PP belongs with a hot hunk like Foghorn Leghorn.

Russell somehow managed to pick up the pieces of his broken heart. Russell has moved on by dating Australian actress Teresa Palmer. The Daily Mail reports that things are getting serious and Russell is looking to settle down. Before they settle down, can Teresa please shampoo Russell’s hair?! His hair grease is practically splattering against my computer screen.

Russell and Teresa met on the set of “Bedtime Stories” and have been dating for about a month. I guess this is some kind of record for slutty Russell. Teresa needs to come to terms with the fact that she’s just a rebound and Russell will always love PP. Teresa will soon find out the truth when she finds Russell jacking it over a plate of hot chicken cutlets.

Here’s more of Russell and his rebound at the 02 festival on Friday. I also threw in some pictures of heartbreaker PP posing with magazines in Malibu. When is Publisher’s Clearing House going to hire PP already? She loves magazines more than anybody else! If it was legal, she would marry every copy of Star Magazine.

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