Vadge Isn’t Getting Divorced, But A-Rod Is

July 7, 2008 / Posted by:

The never-ending drama known as Vadge’s marriage crisis is still going on. Vadge issued another statement denying she’s getting divorced or doing fuckey fuckey times with A-Rod.

The statement released to People went a little like this: “My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study.”

What she meant to say was, “I told my husband I am not ready to divorce until after my tour. I am not romantically involved with A-Rod, but our buff genitals have wrestled a few times.” Vadge’s roid-vagina will win every time.

It doesn’t stop there, A-Rod’s she-hulk wifey, Cynthia Rodriguez, will file divorce papers in Miami today. Cynthia claims A-Rod and Vadge are indeed bumping muscles and that they continue to.

Cynthia’s lawyer told TMZ that there’s a pre-nup in place, but he stills expects a huge settlement. He also believes she will get primary custody of their kiddies. Vadge will not be named in divorce papers, but Cynthia said A-Rod’s affair was a major reason why their marriage went bust.

She claims she’s the victim of total emotional abandonment. Her lawyer went on to say, “A-Rod may be an All-Star baseball player, but he’s flunked the All-Star team as far as marriage is concerned.” That lawyer! Such a fucking comedian. If this whole “law thing” doesn’t work out, he should audition for a spot on the Queens of Comedy tour.

BLAH! Are they going to settle this with a cage fight or what? If not, I’m just going to roll my eyes at all this nonsense and go eat a Toaster Strudel.

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