A-Rod Is Under Vadge’s Kabbalah Spell

July 4, 2008 / Posted by:

Vadge is hypnotizing A-Rod with some sort of kabbalalalalah voodoo spell. That’s what A-Rod’s buff ass wifey claims anyway. According to the NYDN, Cynthia Rodriguez has told her friends that Vadge is the reason why her marriage is in the shit box. Cynthia is currently shacking up at Lenny Kravitz’s pad in Paris, because she doesn’t want to deal with all the homo drama.

A friend of C-Hulk claims she found a letter from A-Rod to Vadge where he calls her “his true soulmate.” Yeah, because both can probably bench press a Mormon family. C-Hulk reportedly told her friend, “I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him. I don’t recognize the man he’s become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he’s very cold and calculating.” The Vadge strikes again! She definitely held A-Rod in her “vadge-choke-hold” and forced him to hand over his nuts to her. She did the same thing to Guy.

C-Hulk had a baby only 10 weeks ago. Her friend said that A-Rod was only with the baby for 10-minutes after she was born and then split for Vadge’s tomb. 3 weeks later, he told his wifey that he was leaving her. Why didn’t C-Hulk pick up a car and smash it on his head?! She’s capable of it.

The friend went on to say, “Cynthia was so innocent. She thought he just respected [Madonna]…and said, ‘I respected her too – her creativity and ability to reinvent herself. I never dreamed this 49-year-old woman was anything more than a friend.“

There’s only way to solve all of this. You know what I’m going to suggest, right? CAGE FIGHT! Imagine a Vadge and She-Hulk cage fight? That would be like Godzilla vs. King Kong! On second thought, Vadge and She-Hulk should team up and pummel the shit out of A-Rod.

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