This Shit Is Getting Good

July 2, 2008 / Posted by:

Today was day one of Christie Brinkley’s divorce trial and shit got really juicy when her estranged husband, Peter Cook, took the stand. Peter started bawling when he was questioned by Christie’s lawyer. Here’s some scandalous shit he admitted to doing while being married:

He did sexy sexy times with his teenage mistress, Diana Bianchi, in his own office

He paid her $300,000 to keep their nasty business on the down low

He admitted to spending $3,000 a month on internet porn

He confessed to getting nekkid and groping his wang bone in front of a web cam

He posted pictures of himself on swingers websites looking for chicks to screw

After Peter admitted all of this, his stupid fuck lawyer told the court, “For goodness sake: She’s on her fourth husband. Your honor, we’re here because of the self-indulgent wrath of a woman scorned.” Lawyer dude better sleep with one-eye open, because divorced broads everywhere are going to hunt him down.

He also blasted Christie for wanting the trial to be made public, “What kind of a mother wants her husband flogged in public?” I’m sure Peter wouldn’t mind being “flogged” in public.

Christie’s lawyer told the court she paid for everything while they were married. They aren’t fighting over cash though. They are fighting over custody of their daughter Sailor and their son Jack. Jack is Christie’s son from Richard Taubman, but Peter adopted him.

Are they selling tickets to this show? It sounds like the only thing missing is a half-time performance. May I suggest Billy Joel?

And what the hell kind of GD internet porn costs $3,000 a month?! It’s probably some nasty scat shit involving midgets, circus animals and oversized vegetables. No thank you. Shit, I’m always shocked when I see $29.95 on my credit card bill every month (don’t judge, we all like internet porn).

Also, I wonder what Peter’s peter is like? I’m guessing it’s like a skinny ass mushroom. Nothing special.

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