Xtina Never Leaves The House

July 1, 2008 / Posted by:

Even Xtina’s pooch can’t look at her face close-up! Tranny Clown probably has so much bronzer on that poochie can see its own reflection and that makes it feel uncomfortable. That poor animal is thinking, “Please Tranny Clown! I know I look like a bat, but don’t do sex to me!

Anytranny, Xtina did some long ass interview with Glamour Magazine. I only scanned the interview, because reading three pages of Xtina’s words will most likely make me want to put on red lipstick and fuck a bat. Here are a few lie-telling quotes from the red lipstick fucker:

on the paparazzi:
“A lot of people go out of their way [to be photographed]; I make a conscious effort to keep me and my family out of the limelight. The other day a paparazzo actually pulled up to my husband on the street and said, “Geez, I know the new house is big, but I’ve been trying to get a picture of you for months–you never leave the house!” And it’s true: I’ll go out at night after spending time with my son, but [during the day] I just hang out on my grounds, taking him for walks in the stroller in the backyard where we won’t be seen.

Never leave the house?! Who the hell was the photographer who said this crap?! Stevie Wonder? If he wanted a picture of Xtina that bad, he should’ve just opened a bottle of vodka on her front lawn. Xtina can smell vodka within a 10-mile radius.

on sexy times with Bat Boy:
We make sure we have Mommy and Daddy nights out. Our child comes first, obviously, but there are certain things you can do: Once we know he’s in good hands, we go out late at night and have a few drinks. Then we’ll come home, dim the lights and do our thing–and I’m not going into any more detail than that!

Nurse! Please bring my bed pan. I’m going to be sick. Seriously, you know their sexy sexy time is non-existent. When the lights go off, Bat Boy hangs himself upside down from the ceiling and Xtina sticks her whole face in a bowl of paint remover to get all the grease off. She has to soak overnight.

Visit Glamour to read the entire interview

Thanks Dreamy

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