I must have been naive in thinking that I would never hear the name “Kristy Likes Cocks” ever again. It’s true that sometimes she haunts my nightmares, but I usually just wake up in a greasy sweat and take a Simply Sleep. Unfortunately, all the Simply Sleep pills in the world cannot erase this truly tragic news. American’s Idol’s resident redneck hobag got herself a record deal!!! This cuntry ass hobag belongs in a broke down trailer, nursing her pet possums, while watching WWE Smackdown on the 13″ TV she bought on lay-away. She does not belong in a recording studio.
Cocks’ first single, “15 Minutes of Shame,” will be released this August. Her single title describes what she had to do to get that damn record deal! I’m surprised she didn’t name her first single, “American Christians Rule!”
Her album is supposed to come out in the fall. Does that mean in this pork rind skank is going to be everywhere this fall? If that’s the case, I’m totally moving to Tibet to become a monk.