A couple of hilarious voicemails (above) from a mega-douche named Dimitri are currently making the internet rounds. It all started when d-bag Dimitri met the “elegant” Olga outside of a bar in San Francisco. Elegant Olga made the mistake of giving him her business card. Dimitri called Elegant Olga several times and delivered such memorable quotes as:
“You’re an extremely elegant woman. I couldn’t take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous, even if they say they weren’t…”
“I’m Greek and I’m extremely particular about what I like. So I’m giving you an opportunity here. “
“But nobody says “Call me,” hands a person a business card and then doesn’t return calls. It’s extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder.”
Jezebel has the complete transcript of Dmitri’s douchetastic voicemails to Elegant Olga. I’m shocked as to why Olga never called Dimitri back. I mean, he called her “elegant” several times! Any dude that calls me “elegant” is definitely the one.
Dimitri totally borrowed his mommy’s cell phone to leave Elegant Olga messages during his lunch break from his 8-hour shift at Quizno’s.