Unfortunately, Cher’s last living fan is really annoying and really, really handsy. Cher was with friends at Tootsie’s in Nashville when 36-year-old Calvin Hutton Houghland kept bothering her ass. Cher was sitting in a roped off area reserved for plastic corpses and Calvin kept trying to get her attention. The police report claims that Calvin “managed to reach past the roped off area and grabbed Cher by the waist.”
The dumb fug was kicked out of Tootsie’s, but he came back a little while later and kept harassing Cher. Security came to her defense, so Calvin called the fuzz and said he was the one being assaulted. Genius move. When the police arrived, they found that Calvin actually assaulted Cher when he grabbed her waist. He was told to leave, but he kept coming back and finally asked to be arrested. He probably realized that if he’s hitting on Cher, he deserves to be locked up forever. And he should be locked up forever.
Calvin said he had 3 beers that night and he failed a sobriety test. 3 beers and he’s hitting on Cher?! I would hate to see the way he behaves after a couple of kamikaze shots. And is it just me or is Cher’s stalker kind of hot? Ugh….I need to get some.