Cynthia Nixon Won’t Become Mrs. Rojo Caliente Anytime Soon

Homos everywhere are flocking to California to get married, but Cynthia Nixon isn’t one of those homos. Cynthia told the NYDN that she’s not planning to make an honest ginge out of Rojo Caliente until gay marriage is legal in New York. She said, “In an ideal world, we’d like to do it in New York, when it becomes legalized. Hopefully, it won’t take 20 years.”

Somebody slap this bitch with a wet strap-on! Rojo Caliente isn’t going to wait forever! I’m sure she has thousands of suitors knocking at her tool shed door, hoping she will put on a Men’s Warehouse tuxedo and marry them in California! Cynthia better get on it! Rojo’s fire bush won’t always be there!

In other Rojo news, last week I posted a story about Cynthia reportedly getting her chichis done. Well, Cynthia has denied the story and fired back! She said, “I was at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital for my ‘three-monthly’ checkup. I was in the Oncology Department. I guess they think that means ‘plastic surgery. Yes, I had breast cancer, but I had a lumpectomy. Some women have reconstructive surgery, but mine did not merit that.

“The story was totally false. It would be annoying and disheartening in any case, but particularly because I’ve been so open about my breast cancer.”

I knew that shit wasn’t true. Rojo likes her women all-natural.