45-year-old Ali Lohan is in talks to play the female lead in a remake of the 1986 movie “Troll.” White Oprah has already snagged the title role No, she hasn’t, but that’s truly a shame. That was the roll (as Brit Brit says) she was born to play.
Marc Malkin reports that Ali auditioned for the role of Eunice St. Clair who helps some boy named Harry Potter Jr (not that one) fight an evil troll. One of the Olsens better play the evil troll. I mean, they don’t even have to shoot them. They can just use old footage from their shitty movies and “Full House.”
The director had this to say about Ali, “The camera loves her. She’s a really good actress…I am personally going to fight for her.” The camera loves her? I know the camera adds 10 pounds, but does it also take off 20 years, because Ali cannot pass for a teen.
The original movie starred Sonny Bono and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
Oh and when I said “she auditioned last week” I really meant “White Oprah gave all the producers blumpkins.”