June 18, 2008 / Posted by:

Mimi La Rue is DEAD! WHY?!!! WHY?!!!! Why didn’t God take Tori me instead?!!! Paula Abdul is right! There is no God! NOT TODAY! WHY?! FUCK! Now I finally have a reason to go outside and dick slap those damn birds that have been waking me up at 4 in the morning! I’m so upset!

It’s true. People has reported this truly awful news. She passed away from natural causes yesterday at the age of 11. She was surrounded by her family and died at home. Tori said, “She was a star and a true lady, and she will be missed greatly. People everywhere knew her by name. I loved when fans wanted her over me. I felt proud!” She was more of a lady than you’ll ever be, Tori!

Farewell, Mimi La Rue! You will be forever missed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go take out my anger and sadness on those noisy ass birds!

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